Question: I’m dating a girl who is really nice and we’ve been with each other 6 months now. I know she loves me but I’m not into it like she is anymore. It was fun at first but now I want to see other girls. I know I said things and promised her things and now I feel bad I changed my mind. I don’t want to hurt her feelings but I can’t go out with her any more. How do you break up with someone? What’s the right thing to say so they don’t get so hurt?
Answer: Kudos for you to recognizing your truth and not wanting to string this girl along! It is a mature and wise decision of you to end this relationship in an honest way before you start seeing other girls.
Breakups are never easy. Be gentle with her. If she loves you, she deserves to hear the truth.
I would suggest speaking to her in person–or at least over the phone. Start out by telling her that you want to talk to her about the relationship and that you will be telling her something that may be upsetting.
Then stress the good points about her–how she’s nice, how you’ve enjoyed dating her etc.
Then simply tell her that you don’t feel as strong of a connection as she does and it isn’t fair to her-or you-for the two of you to keep seeing each other. If you can deal with her response-and answer any questions that she has-that would be awesome. It would help to give her a sense of closure so that the two of you can move forward as best as possible.
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About the Expert: Rachel RUSSO, MS, MFT is one of Your Monthly Mentors, a Matchmaker, Dating & Relationship Coach, Author & Speaker. She has a master’s degree in Marriage & Family Therapy from Iona College, a BA in Psychology from Rutgers University, and a certification as an Intentional Relationship Coach. Rachel is the founder of Rachel Russo Relationships-a NYC-based dating and relationship consultancy-and has worked as a matchmaker for twelve years. She currently acts as the resident relationship expert on Brooklyn Savvy Tv, is a matchmaker with Lisa Clampitt Matchmaking, and trains entrepreneurs at Matchmaking Institute. Her drive, credentials, and unique experience make her the ultimate dating and relationship expert. Read More…