Discover 2 ways we sabotage our own happiness and 4 steps to gain it back.
I want you to ask yourself something: Are you genuinely happy? Take a moment to honestly think about that. Have you genuinely found happiness in life?
If your answer is no, or even maybe, let’s talk about the reasons why you aren’t happy, and the mistakes you might be making unknowingly that are costing you happiness.
1) You Haven’t Transformed Your Inner Critic into Your Inner Coach
The first mistake you might be making that is costing you your happiness is that you haven’t successfully transformed your inner critic into your inner coach.
Research indicates that, on average, people talk to themselves about 50,000 times a day. Unfortunately, most of that self-talk is about yourself, and according to the psychological researchers, it is about 80% negative.
Some examples of this might be:
“I shouldn’t have said that.”
“I don’t like the way my hair looks today.”
“I’ll never lose weight.”
“I can never seem to get organized.”
… and the list goes on.
We know from this research that these thoughts have a powerful effect on us. Our negative thoughts actually control our behavior.
The first thing you have to do if you want to find happiness in life, is put a muzzle on that inner critic and transform it into an encouraging, loving, and positive inner coach.
One of the most powerful exercises for retraining your inner critic is to teach it to tell you the total truth. Just like your parents disciplined you for your own good, your inner critic really has your best interests in mind when it is criticizing you. It wants you to get the benefit of the better behavior. The problem is that it tells you only part of the truth.
Whenever you hear a part of you judging yourself, simply reply,
“Thank you for caring. What is your fear? What specifically do you want me to do? How will this serve me? and Thank you.”
Do not let the seeming simplicity of this technique fool you. It is very powerful if you use it.
2) You’re Letting Your Limiting Beliefs Control You
Another mistake you might unknowingly be making and therefore sabotaging your own happiness is allowing yourself to be controlled by your limiting beliefs.
Many of us have beliefs that limit our success — whether they are beliefs about our own capabilities, beliefs about what it takes to succeed, or even beliefs about how we should relate with other people.
Moving beyond your limiting beliefs is a critical step toward becoming happier and more successful.
Learn How to Find Happiness in Life in 4 Steps
To do this, you must first believe that you are capable of accomplishing your goals and that you are capable of being happy.
Here is a simple but powerful four-step process you can use to transform any limiting belief into an empowering belief:
Step 1: Identify a limiting belief that you want to change.
Step 2: Determine how that belief limits you.
Step 3: Decide how you would rather be, act, or feel. And…
Step 4: Create a turnaround statement that affirms or gives you permission to be, act, or feel this new way.
For example, a negative belief might be: “If I express my true feelings, people will think I’m weak and take advantage of me.”
The turnaround belief would then be:
“The more I express my true feelings, the more people love, respect, and support me.”
Once you have created a new belief, you will need to implant it into your subconscious mind through constant repetition for 2 or 3 minutes several times a day for a minimum of 30 days.
In conclusion, keeping these 2 possible mistakes in mind (listening to your inner critic without retraining it to be your inner coach and letting yourself be controlled by your unconscious limiting beliefs).
Make a list of any beliefs that might be limiting you and follow the steps outlined above.
About the Author: Jack CANFIELD, Monthly Mentor, is America’s #1 Success Coach and founder of the billion-dollar book brand Chicken Soup for the Soul® as well as a leading authority on Peak Performance and Life Success. If you’re ready to jump-start your life, make more money, and have more fun and joy in all that you do, get FREE success tips from Jack Canfield now at FreeSuccessStrategies.com. Jack holds the Guinness World Record for having seven books on the New York Times Bestseller list on the same day. He also holds the Guinness World Record for the largest book signing ever for Chicken Soup for the Kid’s Soul. Read More…