How to take charge and live a life that is not ruled by fear.

With fear in charge, you can never fully relax, let your guard down, be your true self. You cannot open up because you are afraid of how people will respond if they were to meet the real you. When fear is in charge, you simply cannot take that chance. When fear is in charge, you simply cannot take that chance.

Fear will not allow honesty, fear despises spontaneity, and fear refuses to believe in you. Fear may mean well but ruins everything by over-protecting you, insisting that you stay hidden, promising that your time is coming — sometime later.

Fear is bold but insists that you be timid. Take a chance and there will be hell to pay: fear will call on its dear friend, shame, to meet you on the other side of your risk-taking.

Fear will trip you, tackle you, smother you, do whatever it takes to cause you to hesitate, to stop you. In this way, fear is fearless. Fear will remain in charge for as long as you let it. It will never volunteer to step down, to relinquish its authority.

Your assignment is to live a life that is not ruled by fear. To do this, you must be able and willing to listen carefully to exactly what fear is telling you, what it is threatening you with – and you must be prepared to disobey its instructions Never wait for fear to subside before you choose to act with courage.

Every morning when you awake, make a conscious decision to remain in charge of your own life. Fear will never be far away, but it cannot occupy the same space in which you stand. Let your personal motto be, “I am in charge, fear is not.” Say those powerful words as you put your feet on the floor, as you look into the mirror, as you walk out the door.

Ask yourself each morning, and all through the day, “What will being in charge of my own life mean for me today?” Ask yourself that question and be sure to listen carefully for the answer.

The above was an excerpt from Embracing Fear: How to Change What Scares Us into Our Greatest Gift

About the Author: Thom RUTLEDGE is one of Your Monthly Mentors, a psychotherapist & author of several books, including Embracing Fear: How to Turn What Scares Us into Our Greatest Gift. His website is located at www.thomrutledge.com. Thom blends his personal recovery from depression, addiction and excessive self-criticism with 30 years of professional experience to guide his clients, readers, and audiences from self-judgment and perfectionism toward genuine self-compassion. Thom’s trademark sense of humor, a down-to-earth practicality, and his own compassion are the common threads that run throughout his unique brand of self-help psychology. (INTRApersonal Therapy). Read More…

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