Fern WEIS is a certified Parent Empowerment Coach and Family Recovery Coach who learned that caring and good intentions in parenting are not enough. Fern works with parents of teens and young adults who are going through difficult situations, from the homework wars to addiction recovery, and all points in between. Through group programs and private coaching, parents work on communication skills, building relationship and setting boundaries with love and respect. Fern helps parents release guilt, end enabling, and confidently prepare their children to thrive and be successful through life’s challenges.
A Note From Fern:
Becoming a coach for parents of teens didn’t happen by accident. Our family went through some very difficult times during our kids’ teen years. With life revolving around a child who was underachieving and making poor choices, we had no choice but to take an intervention for him and a good hard look at ourselves .
After a month at a wilderness program, we sent him to Hyde School, a college-prep boarding school of family-based character education and leadership development. Hyde isn’t just for the student, though; it’s for the parents as well. And it was the parent program that changed everything.
We knew that our child couldn’t come back to the same home, same parents. Whatever he learned had to be reinforced at home. We learned a new language and a new way of doing things. (The happy ending? He graduated Hyde and college, and is working in his chosen profession. Our daughter has found her own unique way as well. We are thrilled with the loving, dedicated, persistent and resilient adults our children have become.)
I came to understand that my children’s behavior was just as much about me as it was about them. The big ‘aha’ was that not only were caring and good intentions not enough, they were part of the problem! Nothing was going to change until I did.
Here’s some of what I learned (and help my clients do in their family):
- to step back and let my kids take more responsibility for themselves. They became resilient and better problem-solvers. It gave me confidence that they’d be able to take care of themselves when it was time to go out on their own, no matter what life threw at them.
- to listen, and then listen more. Nagging, lecturing, fixing and controlling didn’t work, but mindful, empathetic listening built trust and a loving relationship.
- to provide boundaries. Setting boundaries doesn’t always feel good, but it is much more important than feeling loved, and helped them become more independent
- to focus on me. The only one I can control is myself, and when I work on myself, my relationships improve dramatically. I’m also a better role model to my children.
Those two years changed us all, forever. I am so committed to the process that I continue to be a facilitator at family weekends, and to mentor our regional parent group.
While teaching middle school for 13 years, I trained as a life coach and founded my business, Your Family Matters, in 2008. Since then I have been teaching and supporting parents of teens and young adults who are struggling.
Although our stories may be different, you and I share the same hopes and fears for our teens. If you are facing challenges with your teen or young adult, I can help. I have been where you are, and I know a way out.
“There is nothing more fundamental and impactful than the connection and attachment between you and your teen.” -Fern Weis
Fern’s Training:
- Certified Empowered Coach (iPEC), 2008
- Certified K-12 Teacher (NJ)
- Certified BALM Family Recovery Coach
- Certified Emotional Intelligence Coach
- Presenter of The Biggest Job Workshops (Hyde School)
- Keruv consultant for synagogues/interfaith families
Additional Life/Family Experience:
- Infertility/Adoption
- Learning Differences/ADD
- Second Generation (Children of Holocaust Survivors)
To learn more about Fern, her workshops and coaching programs, visit www.fernweis.com. While you’re there, you can sign up for a free parent guide, “5 Powerful Steps to Get Your Teen to Talk.”
Additional links:
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/YourFamilyMattersCoach/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fern.weis/
Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.com/user-379689076
FERN’S ARTICLES FOR TEENS
6 Steps for Teens to Become Empowered Creators of Their Universe
Confidence Comes From Doing: Just Get Started
Choosing Self-Compassion
Developing Desirable Work Ethics: The Reality of Working in The Real World
Are Innocent Questions Really Innocent?
Feeling Sorry for Yourself is Okay… For a Little While
FERN’S FREE WEBINAR FOR PARENTS
“From Eye-Rolling to I Love You: 5 Steps to Transform Your Relationship With Your Teen.”
FERN’S ARTICLES FOR PARENTS