Question: My girlfriend is really nice and pretty and funny. We have a good time but it doesn’t feel the same as my first girlfriend. I know I loved my first girlfriend. My heart would ache when she was gone and all I wanted to do was be close to her and when we broke up, I was a mess! This time, it’s just different. I really like this new girl I’m with, but my feelings aren’t as strong. Does that mean she’s not right for me?
Answer: Tough question! The truth is that every relationship is different. Each girl you are with brings out different feelings in you. It isn’t always helpful to compare relationships, because there are so many circumstances that could contribute to you feeling different.
Perhaps you need more time before you feel emotionally attached to this new girlfriend. If you are having fun-and she’s not creating a negative energy for you-maybe you can give it more of a chance and keep seeing her.
If, in time, your heart is still not into it, it may make more sense to end things.
Ultimately, if you can be yourself in a relationship and have fun, then the person you are with “has” the potential to be the right person for you.
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About the Expert: Rachel RUSSO, MS, MFT is one of Your Monthly Mentors, a Matchmaker, Dating & Relationship Coach, Author & Speaker. She has a master’s degree in Marriage & Family Therapy from Iona College, a BA in Psychology from Rutgers University, and a certification as an Intentional Relationship Coach. Rachel is the founder of Rachel Russo Relationships-a NYC-based dating and relationship consultancy-and has worked as a matchmaker for twelve years. She currently acts as the resident relationship expert on Brooklyn Savvy Tv, is a matchmaker with Lisa Clampitt Matchmaking, and trains entrepreneurs at Matchmaking Institute. Her drive, credentials, and unique experience make her the ultimate dating and relationship expert. Read More…