When you are listening to someone open up to you about something that is bothering them, your critique, your criticism, your worldly wisdom of knowing exactly what they should do… rarely helps them.
They are smart, and doing the best they can, on all levels.
Just listen, and nudge with support.
Once in a while, there may be room to suggest they do something different.
But usually… this does nothing.
If you truly want them to get better in life…
And if you truly love them…
Then simply do lots of listening.
And then lots of nothing.
The goal is for them to come back to you so they can have lots of listening.
And then lots of nothing.
And when they open up a moment of space because they want your opinion, use it wisely, because it’s a miracle when two people get to be that close.
About the Author: Derek HART is one of Your Monthly Mentors, a Relationship Coach, Speaker, Writer, and the founder of UnderstandEachOther.com based in San Anselmo, California. He has been counseling people since 1990, with over 27,000 hours in experience. The unique experience he brings to his counseling practice is based upon years of doing his own deep inner work. A student and teacher of the human journey, Derek has continually studied the great works of the top psychology and spiritual masters of our time. Read More…
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