3. Figure out how your partner’s communication problems relate to his/her family or childhood.

4. Diagnose your partner as abusive or narcissistic.

5. Focus on having your needs met by your partner. Make it all about you.

6. Become an expert in explaining what you’re frustrated about in ever-increasingly clever ways.

7. Coach your partner on how they should listen to you better.

8. Believe that you’re more hurt than your partner.

9. Respond to your partner by rolling your eyes at how out of balance their response is to you.

10. Be surprised that they don’t understand you, even though you’ve explained it so clearly.

Once your way of communicating together has turned into a repetitive pattern and nothing is getting solved, there is no way to resolve it without learning how to become more vulnerable. Click here to learn how to become more vulnerable.

About the Author: Derek HART is one of Your Monthly Mentors, a Relationship Coach, Speaker, Writer, and the founder of UnderstandEachOther.com based in San Anselmo, California. He has been counseling people since 1990, with over 27,000 hours in experience. The unique experience he brings to his counseling practice is based upon years of doing his own deep inner work. A student and teacher of the human journey, Derek has continually studied the great works of the top psychology and spiritual masters of our time. Read More… 

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