Why Is It So Hard to Break up Even When It’s So Wrong? By Rachel Russo

Why is it so hard to break up with someone even when you know it’s not working and they aren’t right for you? My boyfriend and I argue and fight almost every day after school but we keep staying together because we really do love each other.


Breakups really are hard to do! They are extra challenging when the head and heart are in a debate like yours are. Your intellect is telling you to let go of your boyfriend, as you know the fighting isn’t good for either of you. Yet your heart is telling you to hold on, leading you to believe that maybe things will get better.

When you love someone, you naturally have hope that the relationship will improve. Plus, the chemistry and all of the history you have with your boyfriend are really powerful influences that make it hard to leave.


All of this can leave you feeling really confused about what you should do, and it may seem best to just stay together. A lot of this has to do with familiarity. Even though the relationship with your boyfriend is uncomfortable, it is what you know. As humans, we have a fear of the unknown.


You are totally normal, and I hope that you figure out what is really the best thing for you soon!

If you have a dating or relationship question for Rachel, please ask HERE.


About the Expert: Rachel RUSSO, MS, MFT is one of Your Monthly Mentors, a Matchmaker, Dating & Relationship Coach, Author & Speaker. She has a master’s degree in Marriage & Family Therapy from Iona College, a BA in Psychology from Rutgers University, and a certification as an Intentional Relationship Coach. Rachel is the founder of Rachel Russo Relationships-a NYC-based dating and relationship consultancy-and has worked as a matchmaker for twelve years. She currently acts as the resident relationship expert on Brooklyn Savvy Tv, is a matchmaker with Lisa Clampitt Matchmaking, and trains entrepreneurs at Matchmaking Institute. Her drive, credentials, and unique experience make her the ultimate dating and relationship expert. Read More…