The Pain of Regret vs. Making Change by Jessie Torres

Tomorrow is not promised. There is so much in life that we make important or that we make matter that causes us suffering. When we seek for joy outside of ourselves we are denying the gift of joy within our own Spirit. The Spirit knows……it is clear and divine perfection upon its arrival to this human experience. Somewhere along the journey of life, we lose our way.

From the first moment we feel hurt or disappointment or when someone doesn’t treat us well, whether it be a school friend, teacher, sibling, parent, boss, partner, lover or even a stranger, we begin to stack meaning and associations to who we are and our identity begins to form. Each layer convincingly moving away from the knowing that our Spirit seeks to remind us of. We start to shield the innocence of our wounded heart and we layer walls of protection and forget our divine wholeness and beauty.

From this space, we hold grudges and we blame, criticize and judge ourselves and our fellow man. We act out or withhold love, we hide our essence for fear that it will be hurt again and then we begin to believe that happiness lies outside of ourselves. We believe that it lies in the form of achievement of this certificate or that job, that house, a specific car or specific relationship and we lose our sense of self. Then as the years pass us by, we get to that point when we are sitting on our rocking chair with tons of regret or worse yet, we lose someone in an instant and we suffer because we never forgave or spoke the love that was always in our hearts.

Marianne Williamson said, “Miracles occur naturally with love, every time we withhold love, it is a withhold of a miracle.”

In an article in, they identified the 12 most common regrets that people have before they die, they are:

1. I wish I had spent more time with the people I love.

2. I wish I had worried less.

3. I wish I had forgiven more.

4. I wish I had stood up for myself.

5. I wish I had lived my own life.

6. I wish I had been more honest.

7. I wish I had worked less.

8. I wish I had cared less about what other people think.

9. I wish I had lived up to my full potential.

10. I wish I had faced my fears.

11. I wish I’d stopped chasing the wrong things.

12. I wish I’d lived more in the moment.

All of these equate to a lack of acknowledging the gift of our authentic self. We are LOVE, we are born in love it is our innate nature.

So do we have to wait until we die? Or do we have to wait until a loved one is taken from us?

This is a question to really ponder! Life is to short to SUFFER! If beneath all of the walls of protection, in the quiet still of the night when no one is listening, you are knowing that there is love in your heart that you have not been sharing or expressing, then I encourage you to take a stand today and LET GO! Let go of all of the past references that have prevented you from forgiving, from loving, from laughing and living within your highest potential of unconditional love to all those that you come in contact with, especially those that have hurt you.

It doesn’t mean that you agree, condone or like certain behaviors, but what if each person that hurt you, was doing the best they could with what they have been given? They were in your life for a reason and now you get to choose to find the gift or live in the anger, resentment or judgement of them, which only fuels the egoic mind that wants to keep you from your Spirit’s calling.

Connect to the beauty of your Spirit, awaken it, fuel it and embrace the limitless possibilities of your human potential to LOVE every minute of every day, as when you give love you get love tenfold!

YOU deserve it, don’t you?

JessieTorresTheTeenMentorAbout The Author: Jessie TORRES is one of Your Monthly Mentors, a Wisdom Guide, Transformational Leader/Coach, Author and Speaker based in Encinitas, California. As a seeker of knowledge and adventurer with a lust for life, she is fueled by a passionate love for humanity and a burning desire to end suffering. She has coached thousands of High Performance people from all walks of life and various parts of the world that have achieved success and the highest level of fulfillment. She helps Leaders achieve a passionate, purposeful, fulfilled life by Awakening their Spirit and Unleashing their Limitless Human Potential so that they can make their life extraordinary. Learn More… 

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Cover Photo by Matthew Henry on Unsplash.