What If I Don’t Want To Fool Around? By Rachel Russo

Question: What if I don’t want to fool around? I really like the girl I’m with, but I think she expects me to have sex and I don’t want to. It’s not even because of what my parents say, it’s just how I feel right now. I want to wait. How do I tell her without her telling everyone and everyone making fun of me?

Answer: It’s totally okay if you don’t want your relationship to progress physically. You don’t have to give in to peer pressure. You should have sex when you are ready, as it will be much better than forcing yourself to sooner.

Just make it clear to your girlfriend that you have strong feelings for her–and the lack of desire to have sex is not a reflection of a lack of feelings. Once she understands that it is not her and that it is you, she may be able to understand where you are coming from.

Tell her that you are trusting her to keep what you share confidential, as you would do the same with anything she tells you.

If you share this from a confident place, she may perceive you as strong and courageous. She may like you even more, as women are attracted to a guy with confidence.

It is cool to go against the grain and do what feels right for you. Hopefully she will see the value of it. If she doesn’t appreciate you for who you are and respect your feelings, she is not the girl for you.

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RACHELHEADSHOTAbout the Expert: Rachel RUSSO, MS, MFT is one of Your Monthly Mentors, a Matchmaker, Dating & Relationship Coach, Author & Speaker. She has a master’s degree in Marriage & Family Therapy from Iona College, a BA in Psychology from Rutgers University, and a certification as an Intentional Relationship Coach. Rachel is the founder of Rachel Russo Relationships-a NYC-based dating and relationship consultancy-and has worked as a matchmaker for twelve years. She currently acts as the resident relationship expert on Brooklyn Savvy Tv, is a matchmaker with Lisa Clampitt Matchmaking, and trains entrepreneurs at Matchmaking Institute. Her drive, credentials, and unique experience make her the ultimate dating and relationship expert. Read More…