Let’s do some hard talking here! If you are not where you want to be – or if you don’t even know where that is – then it’s time to take a deep breath and have a serious look at yourself.
What will you see in the mirror?
Over the years working in businesses, in different teams and as a coach, I’ve heard so many excuses as to why things are not possible that I could write a book about it. Not just one, but a whole library. You think I am exaggerating? I’m not!
It’s amazing what we, as human beings, can come up with to justify anything, good and bad. But mostly bad.
It’s hard to admit when we are lazy, when we hurt others or don’t do what we decided to do earlier. It has all to do with not looking so bad in front of the mirror or in front of others. It’s about not being vulnerable, being safe, trusted and valued. We have this thing in our head that a person who is not perfect cannot be trusted and is not liked.
If that is you, how is this thinking working out for you?
Putting your life in place
It all has to do with what I call your zero-line or comfort zone. This is the place where you are right now. It’s the life you created for yourself, your habits, your friends, your work and your fun. If anyone comes along and challenges your zero-line, you will defend it vehemently and come up with all sorts of reasons why this is okay or why you are where you are. You might even be a little unhappy.
It’s a bit like moving into a new apartment. You might not like it much to begin with – and start to find the things you’re uncomfortable with, but over time you make it yours and you become okay with it. If anyone asks you why you are not moving to another apartment if you don’t like it so much, you will come up with many reasons why you can’t.
Whatever the reasons and excuses, they allow you to stay where you are: at your zero-line or comfort zone.
No excuses for change
Sometimes bad things happen. You might lose your job or split up with your partner and are forced to make changes. The bigger the change, the harder it feels. This is because its so far out of your comfort zone.
It will take a while, but at one point you adjust and your zero-line (comfort zone) and it moves down to the place you are right then. Your life changes and you begin to create new excuses why things are as they are.
If you could take away all of your excuses, what would you do?
What would you do if you couldn’t justify being unhappy, not having real friends, not having any money?
If you had no reason for any of this, you would have no choice to hold back on being happy. You would have real friends, relationships, and money. I know you would.
The one thing holding you back is your “excuses” for living a life you don’t really want to live.
If you want this to change, stop finding excuses, and just give them all to me.
Write to me with all the excuses you can find saying why you are where you are – and why that stops you from moving on. That’s it. Just give them to me.
As soon as you do that, you will have no more reasons for not having an amazing life, friends, relationships and money. Or whatever else you always wanted but never dared to try and get.
Send me an email and give me your excuses. I promise not to refuse them. Just give them to me and start living the life worth living!
About the Author: John DiSTEFANO is one of Your Monthly Mentors.He started his first company in 1993 in Germany and has been an entrepreneur ever since. His businesses ranged from Advertising over Marketing and Sales to IT to mention the main areas. In 2014 John formed the Entrepreneur Academy in Brussels, Belgium with the aim to provide a platform for entrepreneurs to grow, learn and practise. He is actively involved in many student organisations throughout Europe and regularly invited to talk about entrepreneurship. Read More…