The Do’s and Don’ts of Vulnerability by Derek Hart

Vulnerability Takes A Minute – Invulnerability Can Waste A Lifetime

Vulnerability is really clear and simple when it happens.

Here are 9 Do’s and 9 Don’ts that will make you more vulnerable with your partner.

The 9 Don’ts
1) Criticize the other.
2) Name too intensely how the other has wronged you.
3) Defend yourself.
4) Justify what’s good about you in a defensive way.
5) Prove anything.
6) Explain how you’re being vulnerable and how it’s not being received.
7) Be aggressive.
8) Be arrogant.
9) Think you’re being vulnerable if the other is not receiving it (vulnerability is Universally recognized deeply in the mind – it’s a sixth sense that the other recognizes).

The 9 Do’s
1) Pay attention to how the other is receiving you.
2) Be humble.
3) Slightly exaggerate what you have done to cause the disconnect.
4) At all times, be curious if you’re being vulnerable.
5) Tell the person how important they are to you.
6) Carefully discern if you, at any time, have entered the 9 do not items above.
7) Take more than your share of responsibility with the wisdom that the other feels wronged also.
8) Slow down enough to marinate in the miraculous moment when your vulnerability lands in the other person’s heart.
9) Cultivate loving feelings towards this person who may feel like your enemy.

If you do this quickly, you may even have enough time to get dinner and watch a Netflix movie together.

Derek HartAbout the Author: Derek HART is one of Your Monthly Mentors, a Relationship Coach, Speaker, Writer, and the founder of based in San Anselmo, California. He has been counseling people since 1990, with over 27,000 hours in experience. The unique experience he brings to his counseling practice is based upon years of doing his own deep inner work. A student and teacher of the human journey, Derek has continually studied the great works of the top psychology and spiritual masters of our time. Read More… 

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