Should I Stay or Should I Go? The “Truth” about Becoming by Joshua Garrin

“Stay here…and be. Go there…and become.” – ~ J.M. Garrin

To stay here? Or, to go there?

If you’re anything like me, these types of decisions can make your head spin with confusion. At times, they can drown your heart in a sea of doubt. In fact, “weighing the options” might keep you up at all hours of the night, with the infinite number of possible outcomes playing out in your mind like scenes in an adventure movie.

As you silently hope (pray?) for guidance and direction, you may have been encouraged to seek things like “intention”, “meaning”, and “purpose” to help inform your decision. Like an adventurer setting off on a journey, you may have been urged to walk your “true path”—the one that leads you to “most honest version” of yourself.

Intention? Meaning? Purpose? Truth? And an honest version of myself???


On the journey of life, the choice to “stay” or “go” can be difficult. And why? Because making a decision means agreeing to all the “stuff” that’s associated with making the decision. Of course, choosing to “stay” might mean that we can maintain our sense of safety, security, and stability. However, choosing to “go” might mean opening the door to chaos, crisis, and confusion—within our selves and within our relationships with others.

That’s right—choosing to “go” means boldly leaving the comforts of “here” and bravely choosing to go “there”…despite every person, place, and thing that stands in our way.

If you decide to “stay”, well…okay! But if you decide to “go”, well, then…get ready to let go of “the old” and let in “the new”. Get ready to kick down the door of fear. Get ready to blow up your comfort zone. As you prepare for departure, get ready to turn the page and begin a fresh, exciting, new chapter of your life, one of countless opportunities and endless possibilities. Yet, although your decision to “go” will make some people in your life glow with pride, put on your seatbelt: It will fill others with disappointment and despair…and (gasp), perhaps, envy and jealousy.

Yes, it’s true: Your willingness to boldly, bravely embrace change is going to make other people wish they were you.

Still not sure about whether to “stay” or “go”? No worries!

Here are three things that can help you simplify the decision making process…and that may just amplify your desire for change:


  • Filter out the fiction


    • Stop focusing on what the world is telling you to do. When you do, you can start listening to what your heart wants you to do.


  • Delete the dysfunctional


    • Delete the “I can’t” message that plays in your head. When you do, you’ll have room to record a new, improved message…one that boldly says: “Oh yes…I can”.


  • Ignore the irrelevant


    • If it inspires you, energizes you, empowers you, and fuels your “fire”, pursue it. When you do, you come one step closer to the real you.

 So, as you stand at the crossroads between “stay” and “go”, what’s the key to choosing the right “road”?


  • Hear what’s in your head
  • See what’s out in front of you
  • But listen to your heart


When you listen to your heart, you hear meaning. You hear purpose. You hear truth. And you hear what elevates you to the next level of awesome…and what brings out the best version of YOU. When your decision comes from an honest, authentic, and meaningful place, one thing rises high above the rest:

When we “go”, we grow.

Let’s face it, making major life decisions is rarely, if ever, easy—the process forces us to take a long, hard look in the mirror at who we are. However, being honest with ourselves about who we are is what inspires us to try harder, reach further, and push ourselves higher than we ever thought possible. In this sense, following our true path isn’t really an “option”: It’s a necessity to our wellbeing. It’s the secret to our success. And it’s a risk worth taking.

To “simply survive”…or, to “thoroughly thrive”? To “stay here and be”…or, to “go there and become”? Choose wisely…and from your heart. When you do, you’ll stop being who you think you are…and become who you really are.

See you on the journey…

jgarrin-biopic-2About the Author: Joshua GARRIN is one of Your Monthly Mentors, an Award-Winning Health Psychologist, Author of “The I-Way to Well”, Personal Trainer, Health Coach, and Self-Motivationalist. He holds a Ph.D. in health psychology, an M.S. in cognitive psychology, and a B.S. in general psychology and journalism and currently resides in the Hudson Valley region of New York. Following the completion of his doctorate in 2014, Joshua was the recipient of Walden University’s Harold L. Hodgkinson Award for Outstanding Dissertation Research for his inquiry on health beliefs, outcome expectancies, and stress appraisal in college seniors. Read More… 

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