There’s a lot of talk around self-worth, this ability to love ourselves no matter who or what we might be facing.
Self-worth represents what we feel towards ourselves beyond anything external defining us.
Self-worth and self-esteem are two different things and the two often get confused. Before we go any further, allow me to explain what I consider the difference between the two.
Self-esteem is external. It is the value we think we have in the eyes of others. For example, if you care mostly about what others think of you, your self-esteem is probably higher than your self-worth right now.
The problem with self-esteem is, self-esteem can easily be taken away. A wrong word, a negative behaviour, and pouf! a person’s internal view of themselves might crumble into ‘I’m never good enough!’ ‘What’s wrong with me? ‘Why can’t I do anything right?’ and so much more.
People with higher self-worth care less about others’ fleeting opinions of them and more about feeling good about themselves. For example, a person with a higher self-worth takes the time to really know what they will accept, tolerate, and what is non-negotiable in their life. They stand up for what they deeply believe in even if it might mean potential rejection from others. They care more about being able to live with themselves than the fleeting approval of others.
To show you how to establish and gain self-worth, here’s an analogy that might help you. Imagine self-worth as being a radio transmission tower with your name on it. It is yours and only yours. Every person in your life has their own radio transmission tower. Radio transmission towers are personalized and therefore can never be shared with others. What that means is, your self-worth is your self-worth. It is no one else’s. It will always be yours to claim and broadcast. Same thing for others.
Keeping this analogy in mind …
Here are some areas you might want to contemplate:
- What is the name of your radio broadcast? Personally, I like The Daily Show With _______ (write your name here).
- What title songs are you playing right now on your show? Here are some examples: ‘Look at me!’ ‘You are my everything!’ ‘Lost without you’ ‘Here comes the sun’ ‘Don’t stop believing’ ‘Daring to be me.’ The title songs you choose are like the thoughts running through your mind; they are either empowering or disempowering. It is your thoughts that decide how strong and clear your broadcast is. Your thoughts create your reality.
- Who is on your team? No one does it alone. A great radio show broadcast has a great team working together towards a common goal. For example, there’s a person who filters the calls and another one who responsible for sound quality. Pay close attention to who is on your team. Surround yourself with people who will tell you to smarten up when you are full of crap (aka broadcasting negative thoughts) or talking garbage (aka broadcasting noisy sound quality.)
- Who are your investors? You need to discern who is truly invested in you and by this I mean who really wants you to succeed. A good radio show broadcast has commercials in it. View the commercials as the people in your life. For example, do your parents really want you to succeed? Are they building you up or dragging you down with their messages? Invested people deliver positive reinforcement messages to others. And that includes you! Are you 100% invested in you? If you’re not full invested in you, what can possibly make you expect others to show up fully for you?
You might also want to answer the following questions:
1.‘What can I do right now to improve my broadcast content?’
- We all love a good story, be vulnerable.
- We all can smell vinegar in water, be authentic (don’t pretend to be someone you’re not.)
- Go easy on your listeners, be compassionate. We’re all battling something on our own.
- Explore: be genuinely curious to discover who you are and what you really want.
- Let go of wanting to be right. Self-worth is built on discernment, not judgment.
2. ‘What can I do right now to reduce the static noise in my life?’ Let me ask you … Would you listen to a radio show broadcast if there was a lot of static noise in the background? Perhaps like another radio show broadcast host trying to compete with your same spot? I believe the answer is, most likely not. I personally know that I like to hear clearly what is being played on the radio. What about you?
3. ‘What can I do right now to filter out the naysayers?’ Many of us find the naysayers funny on the radio, internet, or TV. We listen to them rant as to why their broadcast seems more’ important than ours in that moment. The main problem with that is, the longer we listen to naysayers, the higher the chance they will hijack our radio show and broadcast their own negativity songs through us. For example, can you imagine the amount of naysayers a high self-esteem and low self-worth person has met throughout their life in order for them to pay so much attention to what people might think of them?
Let’s recap …
Here are some of the questions you might want to ask yourself to establish and gain self-worth:
- What is the name of my radio broadcast?
- What title songs am I playing right now on my show?
- Who is on my team?
- Who are my investors?
- What can I do right now to improve my broadcast content?
- What can I do right now to reduce the static noise in my life?
- What can I do right now to filter out the naysayers?
Here are 12 rock solid tips for you to establish and gain self-worth:
- Become aware that you are a transmitting tower of frequencies. Make your vibes positive.
- Know that you are transmitting your live broadcast 24/hours a day, 365 days a year. Make your vibes positive.
- Choose your thoughts carefully. Make your vibes positive.
- Surround yourself with a team of people who want you to succeed. Make your vibes positive.
- Surround yourself with people invested in you to succeed. Make your vibes positive.
- Be vulnerable. Share your story. Make your vibes inspiring.
- Be authentic. Be you. Do you. Makes your vibes inspiring.
- Be compassionate. We’re all trying to be happy. Makes your vibes forgiving.
- Be genuinely curious. Make your vibes matter.
- Let go of wanting to be right. Make your vibes harmonious.
- Reduce the static noise in your life. Make your vibes clear.
- Filter out the naysayers. Make your vibes stand positively strong. This is your Daily Show.
My name is Anne Beaulieu. I am your Emotional Intelligence coach for establishing and gaining self-worth. Feel free to reach out to me at firstname.lastname@example.org or on my website www.walkinginside.com.
About the Author: Anne BEAULIEU is one of Your Monthly Mentors, an international speaker, empowering coach, and thought leader in the field of Emotional Intelligence and the Founder of Walking Inside Resources Inc. based in Vancouver, British Columbia. As an accomplished author and community builder, Anne is a powerful catalyst for positive change and embodies successful life strategies that keep empowering men and women across the globe. Read More…