To look for tropical fruit in the open arctic is a waste of time. If you wish to see soaring birds, you need to lift your eyes from the ground.
The lesson is this: without knowing where to look, you can’t expect to find what you’re looking for. Never is this more true than when it comes to looking for why you’re still looking for ways to be stronger than those situations which continue to overcome you. The problem is you’re looking in the wrong places. The solution is to turn around and look in a new direction.
Whenever we find ourselves feeling angry or worried in some way, we always ask certain familiar questions. But these personal inquiries are not what they seem. They are really answers disguised as questions; not actually asking anything, rather secretly confirming that we know where to look — for who — or what — is to blame for our shaky feelings. And in this same moment where we’re able to name the cause of our conflict-filled feelings, there’s something else that’s secretly confirmed which seals this unsuspected self deception: We’re sure the source of what’s making us shake, or ache, rests outside of us. And it’s this unquestioned assumption which keeps us looking in the wrong direction; where we remain a perpetual victim in search of victory never found. Now here’s the right direction in which to look:
When faced with any shaky, achy feeling, look within. Just ignore those pointed thoughts telling you where the blame falls. Let your attention fall back upon yourself instead by learning to ask your own questions about your situation. This is the only way to see that the real source of those painful tremors is not outside of you, but that it dwells within one of a hundred false ideas about yourself that you’ve come to believe are true. And when you see that you’ve abandoned yourself to a nature which can never be anything higher than a blame-inflamed victim, real Self Victory follows. Now, to help you learn how to look in the right direction, consider the set of special questions below created just for this special study.
Stop asking in secret defeat: When will these unpleasant circumstances in my life finally change?
Start consciously asking: What is it in me that only feels worthwhile as long as circumstances warrant it?
Or, What is it in me that only knows how to meet life’s events at their own level?
Stop asking in secret defeat: Why can’t you see that you’re wrong?
Start consciously asking: What is it in me that just doesn’t feel right until it’s certain someone else knows it is?
Or, What is it in me that only knows how right it is by the measure of its anger?
Stop asking in secret defeat: Where is this scary situation going to lead?
Start consciously asking: What is it in me that can only hear what fear has to say about a possible event?
Or, What is it in me that has no direction in life outside of being told where it’s headed?
For extra benefits: Write down a few of your own usual questions, which you sense may point you in the wrong direction, and then turn them around to point yourself in the right direction!
About the Author: Guy Finley, Your Bi-Weekly Mentor, is the best-selling author of more than 40 books and audio albums on self-realization. He is the founder and director of Life of Learning Foundation, a nonprofit center for spiritual discovery located in southern Oregon where he gives talks four times each week. For more information visit www.guyfinley.org, and sign up to receive a free helpful weekly newsletter and other gifts.
Click here to read Guy’s autobiography and find more of his articles posted on The Teen Mentor.