Our suffering comes from fighting other people’s emotional truth.
Another person’s emotional truth is 100% true.
So many of us are at war with this, and don’t know how to dance with it.
Close to 100% of the couples I help heal are in this exact bind.
The other person, in their ridiculous, non-evolved, non-logical, overly-sensitive, crazy truth… wants to be seen and heard as much as you do.
Their truth, to them, is how it is.
It is their reality. Just as you have your own.
Learn how to validate the other, no matter what it is.
Therein lies your freedom about whether or not to engage further, or never, ever, include them in your life from this point forward.
If you see dysfunctional behavior or have an issue with your partner, and you’ve communicated well what’s bothering you, without a hint of criticism towards them, they must do the same for you, or at least be capable of recognizing your feelings.
You must always acknowledge and validate your partners feelings as being just as real and just as important as your own.
This is the first step in learning how to have healthy relationships.
About the Author: Derek HART is one of Your Monthly Mentors, a Relationship Coach, Speaker, Writer, and the founder of UnderstandEachOther.com based in San Anselmo, California. He has been counseling people since 1990, with over 27,000 hours in experience. The unique experience he brings to his counseling practice is based upon years of doing his own deep inner work. A student and teacher of the human journey, Derek has continually studied the great works of the top psychology and spiritual masters of our time. Read More…
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