There is nothing more important to your lifelong happiness and success than the way you feel about yourself. Your self-esteem or self-worth sets the tone for the decisions you make and the situations you find yourself in. It is the foundation for who you are and who you will become.
Unfortunately, many teenagers have a less than great view of themselves. They might think they are not smart, not attractive, not popular, not worthy or any other type of negative self-view. It can be a heavy burden to carry on a daily basis.
In this article I am going to share a technique that will lighten your load and show you how wonderful you actually are.
First let’s talk about where low self-esteem comes from. Typically it starts when the people closest to us criticize us. The people criticizing might have good intentions, but the words they choose and their tone makes their criticism quite painful and scarring.
After hearing negative words repeatedly, you can begin to start believing and embracing that you must be one of the worst people ever to be born on this planet.
If you are currently experiencing issues with low self-esteem, know that you are not alone. Most teenagers experience low self-esteem at some point. I know it can feel overwhelming at times, but the good news is you can change it.
Let me share this 3 step technique to help you boost your self-esteem.
1. You Get To Choose What You Think About
The first step is to realize that you get to choose what you think about and concentrate on each day. The problem is that we have let others’ words become the words we tell ourselves in our head. We have let others’ negative words become the soundtrack in our minds. The truth is you have the power to choose what thoughts you will think about. The issue is we have been so conditioned to not realize that we are powerful enough to stop the negative thoughts and replace them with something better. Now let’s move onto the second step.
2. Stop The Bad Thoughts And Replace Them With Good Ones
The next step is to stop embracing the negative self-talk that goes on inside your head. It doesn’t serve you in any positive way. Think about it, what good can come from telling yourself how bad you are on a daily basis? Even if that is what you automatically do, you can stop it. There is a quick and easy technique that will help you stop the negative thoughts from continuing to repeat in your head. The technique is called “Stop, Cancel, Clear”. Let me explain how it works.
Whenever you find yourself having negative self-talk, become aware that you are doing it and say to yourself “Stop, Cancel, Clear”. This will help you stop the negative thoughts from continuing any further. It will also help you release the negative thoughts and allow the mental space for you to replace the negative thoughts with positive ones.
Now some of you might say that you can’t think of anything positive to say about yourself. This is where the third step comes in. The third step is to find the great things about yourself that have been hidden for too long. You do this by asking yourself better questions about who you are.
3. Ask Yourself Positive Questions
Now if you are dealing with low self-esteem, you probably ask yourself lousy questions on a daily basis. They might sound something like this, “Why don’t people like me?”, “Why am I such a bad person?”, or “Why am I so stupid?”. Those are terrible questions to ask yourself, but I bet you always get an answer and here’s why… Your brain is amazing in that it will find an answer to any question you ask it, but it has no filter. It does not stop you from asking a question that will bring you pain, although it would be great if it did. It is up to you to ask questions that will serve you and not hurt you. Take a moment and think about the questions you ask yourself frequently. Are they positive or negative?
Chances are you have been asking yourself negative questions.
Now it’s time to flip the negative questions into positive questions and see if your brain comes up with answers. Ask yourself “Why am I lovable?” “Why am I a good person?” “What have I been successful at?” Did your brain come up with answers to those questions? I am sure it did.
It might seem confusing to get answers to both the negative and positive questions. You might be wondering how someone can be both good and bad. The reason is that we all are a mix of incidents and experiences that are just moments in time. Sometimes we do the right thing and at other times we don’t.
The truth is we have all made mistakes and done dumb things, but those moments are not like so many more moments when we have done the right thing. The key is to stop putting so much emphasis on the things you have done wrong and focus on your successes and the things you do right.
In the beginning it might feel awkward to ask yourself positive questions instead of negative ones. That is normal and it will get easier with time. It also might feel like you are not being truthful with yourself by asking yourself only positive questions. But remember, you have had more successes than failures and have done more good than bad.
“It Doesn’t Matter What Anyone Else Thinks About You, It Only Matters What You Think About You” – Michael Tarby
Start using these techniques today and see what a powerful difference it can make in your life, and remember, it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks about you, it only matters what you think about you.
So always choose good thoughts and ask yourself positive questions. Soon you will start seeing and embracing what a wonderful and magnificent person you truly are!
About the Author: Michael TARBY, Monthly Mentor, is a life change expert and author of the best-selling book Living Your Big Juicy Life, The Secrets to Having More Love, Joy and Success. His varied background allows him to resonate with people from all walks of life. He has been everything from a police officer to an actor. In college, he was the class president and graduated with a 4.0 GPA. He holds a Bachelor’s Degree in Human Services and is also Board Certified in Radiography. Michael has dedicated his life to helping others learn from his successes and many failures. He has spoken all across the country and received standing ovations from large and small audiences. Read More…