Of all the experiences humans have, it seems like crying is the most confusing. It’s not confusing from the standpoint that when you are hurt, your first instinct is to cry, but it is confusing why there is so much resistance to this natural urge.
In this article I am going to help you see that crying is natural, should not be avoided and actually has many benefits. Before we get into the benefits of crying, let’s talk about the biggest reason why teenagers are reluctant to cry.
I was talking with a teenager named Jeff who was upset that his girlfriend had broken up with him. As he told me what had happened, his eyes welled up with tears. He had to stop talking several times in order not to cry. After seeing him so strongly fighting back tears, I asked him “Why don’t you just let those tears out?” He said he didn’t want to seem weak. And as he said those words, I knew he was not alone in that belief. Many teenagers, both male and female, believe that crying is a sign of weakness.
Many teenagers work very hard to build and maintain a tough outer shell and always appear to have everything in control, even when they are hurting deeply inside. If they were to cry, they feel it would shatter their tough shell and be vulnerable to getting hurt even more.
You don’t have to feel weak if you cry. The reality is everyone has cried at some time in their life, from the Marine Drill Sergeant to the toughest rapper on the planet. The truth is everyone cries, but that doesn’t make one weak, it makes one human. And allowing yourself to be human is a good thing. Remember, only robots and machines don’t feel emotion, and you are not a machine. There is no need to pretend you don’t get hurt from time to time.
“Do not apologize for crying. Without this emotion, we are only robots.” – Elizabeth Gilbert, author of “Eat, Love, Pray”.
Another reason why teenagers don’t want to cry is they feel it is a waste of time. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Letting your tears flow is actually quite productive.
Let’s take a look at some of the benefits you get from crying.
As ironic as it might seem, crying feels good. It allows your pain to be expressed in physical form and not stay bottled up in your mind and heart. Preventing yourself from crying often makes the pain worse. It is like trying to hold your breath for minutes on end. It becomes more uncomfortable the longer you try to hold it.
When you allow yourself to cry, your body releases chemicals like oxytocin and endorphins into your bloodstream. These chemicals help your body ease the sensation of pain and help you relax. By crying, you are letting your body do what it is really good at, healing you.
After these chemicals help you relax, you will also have a clearer mind. You won’t be so impulsive and reactive. By crying, you can help prevent yourself from doing something that would make the situation worse. This helps you manage painful situations in the best possible way.
You can help yourself get over painful experiences much quicker if you cry. Crying helps you speed up the grieving process by acknowledging your pain and hurt feelings. Once you acknowledge them, then you can begin to go through the process of healing.
“Have a good cry, wash out your heart . If you keep it inside, it’ll tear you apart. Sometimes you lose, but you’re gonna win if you just hang in.” – Song lyrics from “Better Love Next Time” by Dr. Hook
Crying seems to be able to help bring your mind, body and spirit back into balance. It can reset your thoughts and emotions to be more positive. Have you ever had the experience of crying for a while and then all of a sudden feel like things aren’t so bad after all? What happened to all the pain you were just feeling? The tears were able to wash away the pain and make you feel better.
Our instinct to cry is in our DNA for good reason. It helps us deal with pain, both physical and emotional. There is no need to resist this natural healing response. There is no need to judge yourself or anyone else who cries. Remember, we are all human and we all cry. The best thing you can do for yourself is to get through the tears as quickly as possible and move on. So the next time you feel like trying to stop your tears, say this to yourself;
“The quicker you lose your tears, the quicker you lose your pain.” – Michael Tarby
About the Author: Michael TARBY, Monthly Mentor, is a life change expert and author of the best-selling book Living Your Big Juicy Life, The Secrets to Having More Love, Joy and Success. His varied background allows him to resonate with people from all walks of life. He has been everything from a police officer to an actor. In college, he was the class president and graduated with a 4.0 GPA. He holds a Bachelor’s Degree in Human Services and is also Board Certified in Radiography. Michael has dedicated his life to helping others learn from his successes and many failures. He has spoken all across the country and received standing ovations from large and small audiences. Read More…
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